2013/04/08

Lepattogzik rólam // From me it peels


Nagyon nagy szemeid vannak,
átveszik a webkamera helyét.
Ömlő cukormáz vág a falnak
Megszárad és majd lepattogzik rólam.


You have such enormous eyes.
Take over the webcam’s role.
Floating icing hurls me to the wall.
Dries. And soon from me it peels.

1 megjegyzés:

  1. Quite straightforward, or maybe I just have a twisted mind. Anyhow, I really like the third line, and the end is good (only I personally would've separated "dries." and "and soon from me it peels", to make it into a 5-line poem). It's lovely how more modern vocabulary ("webcam") gets mixed with some more traditional wording, and the words in the last two lines are quite different in comparison to what they actually speak of, almost contradicting, which makes it quite captivating. Throughout the poem there's lots of opposites used, I feel, with warmmness vs. coldness and kind vs. naughty. The shortness adds more value I think and in the end the slightly more simplistic approach you've used works perfectly. Has a bit of statement in it related to the modern society too maybe. Excellent!

    VálaszTörlés